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Friday, April 22, 2011

how to actually smell like said creatures/roles

Dwarf: Smells strongly of BO, smoke, and earth
Elf: Smells of BO poorly covered with essential oils
Half-Elf: More BO, less essential oils.
Halfling: BO, but at half strength, with a hint of bacon and eggs.
Orc: 8 times the BO standard, plus the stench of rotten breath.
Cleric: BO covered with incense
Fighter: BO, double strength
Mage: Smells like Brylcreme.

Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab is selling a line of RPG-inspired perfumes intended to invoke the mythical races of elves, dwarves, half-elves, hobbits and orcs, as well as the distinctive aromas of clerics, fighters, mages, paladins and such.

DWARF: Iron filings and chips of stone, Styrian Golding hops, and soot-covered leather.

ELF: Pale golden musk, honeycomb, amber, parma violet, hawthorne bark, aspen leaf, forest lily, life everlasting, white moss, and a hint of wild berry.

HALF-ELF: White sandalwood, beeswax, white tea leaf, oud, and a hint of sophisticated urban musk.

HALFLING: Porridge, kukui nuts, and pastry crumbs.

ORC: Field grey courgette musk, roughly cured leather, and vetiver.

CLERIC: Rose amber, frankincense, myrrh, champaca flower, Peru balsam, cistus, palisander, cananga, hyssop, and narcissus absolute.

FIGHTER: Leather, musk, blood, and steel.

MAGE: All mystique and thrumming power: gurjum balsam, Sumatran dragon's blood resin, olibanum, galangal, oleo gum resin, and frankincense.


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